Category: Humor (Page 1 of 2)

A sultan with a sense of humor

The sultan of Brunei surely has a sense of humor. Among the gifts he gave to president Bush are a copy of the “Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook” and a vocabulary-expanding game called Forgotten English. Could he possibly have been trying to send a hint to the president?

Does Stephen Harper eat babies?

harperbaby.jpgStephen Harper Eats Babies. That’s the message thousands riders of Canadan GO trains saw repeated over and over on the electronic signs posted on each car. One wondered whether this was the official viewpoint of GO Transist. Apparently, though, babies are safe for the moment as the message was the work of a jokester who used a remote control device sold at Sam’s Club to reprogram the sign. The signs were put up by Exclusive Advertising Inc. who apparently were too cheap to buy the software to put password protection on the signs.
Stephen Harper is the conservative wanna-be-neo-con who just became Prime Minister of Canada. Though he looks like he might eat babies, apparently there is no evidence that he really does. “I worked with Stephen Harper for five years and never once did he in that time eat a baby,” said Gerry Nicholls, vice-president of the National Citizens Coalition, the organization formerly headed by Harper. But he has been called a Bush Baby. Just in case, if I ever meet him, I’ll keep my baby away from him.

Stupid Tom Delay Quotes

These were forwarded to me, so I can’t attest to their veracity but…

1) “So many minority youths had volunteered.that there was literally no
room for patriotic folks like myself.” –Tom DeLay, explaining at the 1988
GOP convention why he and vice presidential nominee Dan Quayle did not
fight in the Vietnam War.
2) “Now tell me the truth boys, is this kind of fun?” -Tom Delay, to
three young hurricane evacuees from New Orleans at the Astrodome in
Houston, Sept. 9, 2005.
3) “I AM the federal government.” -Tom DeLay, to the owner of Ruth’s
Chris Steak House, after being told to put out his cigar because of
federal government regulations banning smoking in the building, May 14, 2003.
4)”I am not a federal employee. I am a constitutional officer. My job is
the Constitution of the United States, I am not a government employee. I
am in the Constitution.” -Tom DeLay, in a CNN interview,
Dec. 19, 1995.
5) “Nothing is more important in the face of a war than cutting taxes.”
-Tom DeLay, March 12, 2003.
6) “Guns have little or nothing to do with juvenile violence. The causes
of youth violence are working parents who put their kids into
daycare, the teaching of evolution in the schools, and working mothers who
take birth control pills.” -Tom DeLay, on causes of the Columbine High
School massacre, 1999.
7) “A woman can take care of the family. It takes a man to provide
structure. To provide stability. Not that a woman can’t provide stability,
I’m not saying that… It does take a father, though.” -Tom DeLay, in a
radio interview, Feb. 10, 2004.
8) “I don’t believe there is a separation of church and state. I think the
Constitution is very clear. The only separation is that there will not be
a government church.” -Tom DeLay.
9) “Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an
hour [the minimum wage in 1996] are hard to resist. Fortunately, such
families do not exist.” -Tom DeLay, during a debate in Congress on
increasing the minimum wage, April 23, 1996.
10) “We’re no longer a superpower. We’re a super-duper power.” -Tom DeLay,
in a 2002 interview with Fox News, explaining why America must topple

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